There is this running joke around the Toronto office. Mostly from the people who I talk with. About something I like to call: ‘after-Noon naps.’ Which ironically has nothing to do with noon, but emphasizes the napping part. Now although I am sure it’s not a new term with anyone above the age of 2 and a half weeks. I thought I would share several different ideas on how to make it appear as though you are working, even though you are ‘resting your eyes’, in a meeting room, sick room, or outside on a bench. (or if your good enough. In the comfort of your own bed.)

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Post-it on the Monitor

Everyone knows this one, and more then half of the time, it works
You just slap a Post-it on the screen saying your in a ‘meeting’, ‘getting a massage’, or ‘back by 5′

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PowerPoint Skip-out

- Take screen captures (ctrl – print screen (windows), command-shift-3 (Mac)) of several different windows on your desktop (works better if they are of programs you actually use) and set them as a PowerPoint slide show, or screen saver. Changing images automatically every couple of minutes.
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Bate-n-switch

- Schedule a meeting with whomever you would normally meet with, and at the same time. Set up an e-mail to automatically send 10 minutes before the scheduled meeting. Saying you got caught up in another meeting and will have to reschedule. (A phone call from your favorite pub also works.)
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The Old Stand-by

- Convince your friend that you sit beside. To make up a story about seeing you but not since the morning.
Or a more creative solution is for your co-worker to consistently change something on your desk to make it ‘look’ like you have been there.

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Plant the seed

Create a scene so intense that people hope you don’t come in to work.
(This also helps if sweat comes pouring from your head.)

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The Phone Call

- While using your cell phone, call your work phone, and pick up.
- Answer the phone as you normally would, but say “O.K.” a lot, and of course you need to sound really concerned. End the conversation (which should be around 2 minutes long) by saying “I’ll be right over/there” or something to that extent.
- Once you hang up the phone. Turn straight around like you’re practicing your tango lessons, and say: ‘My mom/dad/kid/wife/husband needs me!’
- If they ask why, say desperately that you don’t know, but you’re really worried
(Works every time, and you don’t have to do any work)

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And if you do get caught sleeping or skipping work. Here are a few excuses that always work:

- “No, it’s your fault. You stopped supplying my coffee”
- “I wasn’t sleeping. I was trying to pick up my contact lens without hands.”
- “I had to go try and get my gun back from the police.”
- “I was actually practicing my ‘Stress Level Elimination Exercise Plan (SLEEP)” I learnt at the last seminar you made me attend”
- “Whew! I guess I left the top off the liquid paper”
- “Sleep is one the seven habits of highly effective people”
- “I was just practicing what you taught me, at your last time-management workshop you made me attend”
- “My laxatives finally kicked in”

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(I take no responsibility if any of these do not work)

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Justin Zawyrucha‘s other blog posts:
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